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Monday, 20 August 2012

Weekday Blog - Monday August 20, 2012


I was in Montreal at the time. I was staying at the Ritz Carlton and I had some time between meetings. It was about 6:00 p.m. UK time when I phoned Liz to see how she was. She didn’t answer. I let it ring because I knew she rarely went out in the evening. Finally she picked up. She sounded sleepy, and I apologised, thinking I had woken her from a nap.

In a slow and slurred voice, she said: “I think I’ve just had one of those things.”

I knew what she meant. She had had a seizure. “Darling,” I said. “Put the phone down and go and lie down. I’ll call Kristen. Do it now, sweetheart. I’ll wait till you hang up.”

She didn’t hang up.

“Hang up, sweetheart,” I urged. “Then I can call Kristen.”

“Yes,” she said. Still she didn’t hang up.

“Liz, put the phone down, Put it down, sweetheart. Then I can call Kristen.”

After what seemed an age, she put the phone down.

I took the next plane home.

There were two tumours this time. MRI scans revealed that they had grown at the extremities of the tumour they had removed in Orlando. They were removed at Southampton General Hospital three weeks later. As before, the family was there for her.

I managed to get us a meeting with the head of the surgical team while Liz was in the recovery room. He was a Nigerian in his early to mid-fifties: a consultant, which meant we were to call him Mister. He was a nice man; kindly and approachable, and he answered every question we threw at him. When I told him that the American surgeons had said that Liz shouldn’t have any more problems, he said: “I’m afraid your wife is one of the unfortunate ten percent who have the kind of tumour, that – while benign – can grow again in different places within the skull. This kind of cancer …”

His use of the C-word brought a collective gasp from the family. None of us had ever thought of the most important person in our lives as having cancer.

“Are you saying my mother has cancer?” my son Greg asked.

“Not cancer as we tend to think of the word,” the Nigerian replied. “And certainly not the type that will spread through her body, but it is a form of cancer. Her tumours have so far been lying on the meninges, but I have to warn you that it is not beyond the bounds of possibility that further tumours will grow, and that they might ultimately invade the brain itself.”

From the moment Liz opened her mouth to speak I knew things would never be the same again, because her speech was gobbledegook. She could get words out, but they were the wrong words and they were in the wrong order. She made no sense whatsoever.

Ron understood when I said I was going to have to pack it all in and stay home and look after Liz, and he told me he would make sure I got all the money due to me. He wished Liz and I luck.

I let my secretary go and gave notice on my office. Then I settled down with Liz to await whatever life threw at us next.


Extract from my book WILL YOU TELL HER, OR SHALL I? A true story. My story. The story of how I lived with the ten-year terminal illness of my wife. Available on www.booksthepublishersmissed.com

Twitter: Maximillian19

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