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Monday, 8 October 2012

Weekday Blog - Monday October 8, 2012


Trish put her pad and pencil on the coffee table and sat back in her chair. “Right, let me think about this.” I could almost hear her brain working. “Let me put it to you this way: would you have a problem if the situations were reversed and you were the one who was sick and Liz was frustrated and desperately unhappy and wanted to start looking for happiness again? And she had looked after you for all the years you’ve looked after her?”

To me this was a no-brainer. “No, I wouldn’t. If she had done for me what I’ve done for her, I would actively encourage it. I’d probably want her to be discreet about it. I don’t think I would want to know what was going on. But I would think that after all this time she had suffered enough.”

“And don’t you think that if Liz was aware of your situation she might tell you exactly the same thing? You’ve put a huge chunk of your life into looking after her, and she knows that.”

“But I made a promise to her.”

“Yes, but things change. The circumstances are different now. You’ve done nothing to be ashamed of, nothing to feel guilty about.”

“I’d feel as guilty as hell. How could I look her in the eye if I was seeing another woman?”

“Guilt is in the mind, John. You’re an intelligent man, and you’d work out how to handle that. I think it’s time you started thinking of yourself. Time you started looking for happiness again. And I think most sane people would agree with me. I say go for it.”

Before I had a chance to respond, Trish checked her watch. “Sorry,” she said, “we’re going to have to wrap it up for today. I have another appointment.” She got to her feet and got a desk diary from the bureau. She opened it up. “How about next week, same day, same time?”

I had no need to consult a diary. I didn’t even possess one. All I had booked for the foreseeable future was two visits a day to the care home. “Next week is fine,” I said, getting to my feet. I shook her hand. “Thank you, Trish. Thank you very much.”

“My pleasure. And don’t forget, John, you have nothing to feel guilty about.”


Extract from my book WILL YOU TELL HER, OR SHALL I? A true story. My story. The story of how I lived with the ten-year terminal illness of my wife. Available on www.booksthepublishersmissed.com

Twitter: Maximillian19
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