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Thursday, 11 October 2012

Weekday Blog - Thursday Octobre 11, 2012



I woke the morning after my conversation with Kristen feeling tired and out-of-sorts. I had been up three times in the night worrying about whether I had damaged my relationship with her. I knew that what I was planning to do must be distressing her terribly, but I had a life to lead too. I switched on my bedside lamp and looked at my alarm clock. It was 6:13 a.m. I had had less than three hours sleep.

Darkness had started to bother me. It seemed to accentuate and exaggerate my worries and fears, but it wasn’t only the darkness – or the damage I might have done to my relationship with Kristen – that was bothering me, it was also my feeling of impending doom. It was hanging over me like a shroud. I had initially put it down to Liz’s forthcoming demise, but I had recently begun to think it might  not be that simple. 

Without warning, depression hit me. It was like I had fallen into a deep dark pit. Sometimes, it would wash over me in waves, like waves on a seashore, but not this time. This time it was heavy duty. My mind turned to the pills in the nightstand beside me. I brushed the thought aside, as I had so many times before recently. Too many people were relying on me. 

I got out of bed to make myself some more tea. It would be coming out of my ears soon. My bedclothes looked like a herd of elephants had trampled through them. In the kitchen, I switched on the kettle, and the radio. Music and voices helped. They made me feel less alone.

I opened the blinds in my living room and a seagull drifted past, startling me. There was a pile of grey and white feathers on the lawn. A fox must have eaten a wood pigeon in the night. There were plenty of foxes around, and even more wood pigeons. Now there was one less wood pigeon.

I made my tea and carried it through into the lounge. As I sipped it, I thought of what to do during the day. I thought I’d go down to the beach after I’d seen Liz. There were always people on the beach. I didn’t feel as lonely when there were people around, even if I wasn’t actually talking to them.

On a whim, I phoned the care home. I was horrified to hear that Liz had fallen off her commode and banged her head. Jerry, the charge nurse, said they had thought of calling me but it had happened in the early hours and they hadn’t wanted to disturb me, especially as Liz was taking it all in good part. Jerry said she would probably have a lump the size of on egg on her forehead but that she was sitting up in bed having a cup of tea, and seemed a lot less concerned about it than the nursing staff.

Extract from my book WILL YOU TELL HER, OR SHALL I? A true story. My story. The story of how I lived with the ten-year terminal illness of my wife. Now an Amazon Kindle book. www.amazon.com

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