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Tuesday, 9 October 2012

Weekday Blog - Tuesday October 9, 2012



I was between a rock and a hard place. Despite what Trish had said about there being no reason for me to feel guilty about looking for female company, how could I not feel guilty? How would I live with my conscience, knowing I would be breaking my promise that I would never let it happen again? And if I did go ahead, as sure as eggs were eggs Liz would know. She knew me as well as I knew myself. Possibly better. All it would take was a fraction less eye contact than usual, a subtle shift in my body language, or a miniscule change in my speech.

Trish could be right in saying Liz would probably tell me to go ahead if she knew I had a problem, but equally she could be wrong. She was, after all, just expressing an opinion. If only I knew how long Liz would live. If I knew, I would probably find the strength to hang on. But nobody knew. The problem was, how long was I expected to wait? I had held off doing something about it for years already.

I had two sleepless nights stewing over it and decided to have a word with the family. It they said they thought it was okay for me to go ahead, I would go ahead. And if they thought I should wait? Well, I would cross that bridge when I came to it.

I suspected that Caroline and Greg would be all right with it, and when I phoned them and explained I turned out to be right. They both told me to do what I had to do. I didn’t think, however, that Kristen would see it that way. I would need to handle it very carefully with her. She saw her mother every day, and a phone call was not the way to put it to her. I called her and said there was something I needed to talk to her about.

“Is it something we could discuss over the phone?” she said. “I’m a bit tied up at the moment.”

“Not really,” I said. “And it is quite important.”

“I could come over before I pick the children up from school? About two o’clock?”

“That would be fine. I’ll see you then.”

“There’s nothing’s wrong is there? I mean, Mum’s OK? Well, you know what I mean.”

“No, nothing’s wrong.”

“How did you get on with your counselling session?”

“That’s what I wanted to talk to you about.”


An extract from my book WILL YOU TELL HER, OR SHALL I? A true story. My story. The story of how I lived with the ten-tear terminal illness of my wife. Available on www.booksthepublishersmissed.com

Twitter: Maximillian19
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