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Wednesday, 24 October 2012

Weekday Blog - Wednesday October 24, 2012



When I woke up the morning after my second appointment with Trish, something felt different. I lay there listening to the morning traffic and trying to work out what it was. Then it struck me: the feeling of impending doom had gone. Not only that, I didn’t feel depressed either. I lay there for a while, luxuriating in my newfound freedom. It was a rare feeling of euphoria. When I was up, dressed and breakfasted, I celebrated by calling a friend and arranging a game of golf with him.

Now my mind was clear it was time to get serious about finding myself a partner, so I logged onto the dating site. They had changed the home page since I last logged on. It now displayed a photograph of an attractive young couple with a caption reading: ‘When I saw his profile he seemed too good to be true…and he is!’ REGISTER NOW and take a sneak preview at 3.5 million singles.

I entered my password and clicked on search. A page containing photographs of six women popped up. I didn’t find one of them remotely attractive, but I read their profiles anyway because it would give me some idea what to put in mine. All six were divorced, two of them more than once. I was more interested in finding a widow. Someone who had loved and lost, as I had, or was about to. I clicked on page two. Six more pictures, six more divorcees. And they all seemed to have an axe to grind about men. No thank you! I clicked on page three, and encountered exactly the same thing.

When I clicked on page four, a box popped up informing me that if I wanted to go further I had to take out a subscription. The options open to me were a seven-day trial, thirty days, ninety days, and a year. Thirty days sounded about right, so I clicked on that. I was then asked to enter my credit card details, which I did. A box popped up informing me that my application had been successful, and that the management wished me success in finding the lady of my dreams.

I realised, as I manoeuvred my way round the site, that when I wrote a profile on myself I was going have to indicate whether I was single, widowed, or divorced. This was compulsory. And after a good deal of soul-searching, I decided to tick the widowed box. My rationale for this was that, if I said I was divorced, I would be telling an outright lie. Strictly speaking, of course, it was also telling a lie to say I was widowed, but all things considered I saw this as more of a technicality than an outright lie because I would be widowed soon. And I figured I had sufficient nous to explain the situation when I needed to.


Extract from my book WILL YOU TELL HER, OR SHALL I? A true story. My story. The story of how I lived with the ten-year terminal illness of my wife. Also available on Amazon Kindle. www.amazon.com

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